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  • Writer's pictureJohn Cox

What Does a Pirate Captain, a Parrot Named Polly, and Hero Pilot "Sully" Sullenberg all Have in Common? Read on and Find Out.



 

He picks up the microphone, thumbs the button, and says, "Arrrrrrr, crew, be Captain BlackestBeard here from the flight deck. As promised, we will strike terror in the hearts of crews and passengers when we pull up alongside other flyin' vessels! You can be sure we will! Arrrrrrr!"


“But there be one tiny thing we didn’t think through very well - before we set sail through this beautiful Bermuda Triangle evening… Arrrrrrr.”





 "That tiny thing…just a bugaboo, I say…Arrrrrrr…be the boarding of those unfortunate vessels. Arrrrrrr…we can plunder and pillage with the best of 'em, but we're still in the thinkin' stage about how to get our arses across - into our chosen flyin' troves of treasure. Arrrrrrr."


"So… Arrrrrrr…while we work this bugaboo out, I say a cask of rum for everyman and for everyman a cask of rum! Getcher Yo Ho Ho's on! Arrrrrrr!" He hangs up the mike and looks at his first officer in the right seat.


First Officer Sully takes his eyes from the weather radar screen and returns the look. "You know, eventually they're going to figure out there's no treasure to be split," he tells the Captain – "not on this flight, anyway."


“Arrrrrrr.”


"Might I suggest we declare a bugaboo with air traffic control and request a direct heading to Nassau. When we land, we stop at the end of the runway, pop the windows, jump, and make a run for it. And if all else fails - winks at BlackestBeard - remember, my record's pretty good at water landings."


BlackestBeard looks over his shoulder at the Parrot walking from side to side on the back of the empty flight engineer's chair, his head bobbing up and down.


"Polly. What say you?”




Polly says in a loud, screeching voice, "YOU DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH! YOU DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH! SQAWK!"


BlackestBeard sighs, the gusto of being a pirate captain draining from his body. "Arr…make it so, Sully, make it so. And without pause, I hand over my command to you, sir."


He unbuckles his harness, rises from the left seat, grips Sully’s shoulder, and steps back to Polly, offering his shoulder. The bird immediately squawks, “Aye, Cap’n, Aye,” and hops aboard, head bobbing and swaying.


As an afterthought, BlackestBeard asks, “You be all right up here…by yourself?”


Sully, unbuckling the co-pilot’s harness, chuckled and replied, “Sort of was the whole time anyway, Captain.”


Ignoring him, BlackestBeard unlocked the flight deck door and began to step out. He paused, looked back at Sully, and asked, "Sully. While we're up here, think thar be a way of findin' that bastard portal me and my crew came through? Maybe we could go back?"


Captain Sully nodded toward the instrument panel as he took the left seat. "I've been watching this anomaly on the weather radar…and we are in the Bermuda Triangle, Captain." He shifted, smiled at Blackestbeard, and said, "No guarantees, but I'll see what I can do," and winked again.


With that, Polly screeched,” SEE WHAT I CAN DO! SEE WHAT I CAN DO!”


BlackestBeard nodded, stepped out of the flight deck, and closed the door behind him.




 

 

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS – DATELINE NASSAU, BAHAMAS

JANUARY 10, 2023, 1:25 AM LOCAL TIME

 

A yet-to-be-positively identified Lockheed L-1011 passenger airliner marked with the livery "SKY PIRATES" landed at the Nassau International Airport with only the pilot aboard at 1:00 AM local time tonight. The pilot has yet to be identified by Bahamian aviation or security forces.

 

 

 

 

THE END

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